I'm Beginning to see the Light
by Anne Nonymus
Summary: Brennan is haunted by a recent decision, and after talking to friends and family she realizes that she has to make amends, but is it too late? Tag to the 100th episode and contains major spoilers!
1. The Mess I Made

**A/N: Warning, major spoiler alert!!!!!**

**To all those expecting another JustUs League story....sorry, that's coming soon. I still hope that you'll give this one a chance though. Bit more drama than the JustUs League series, but I'll add some funny when I can. It's been in my head since the 100th, and I guess that I couldn't help myself.**

**To those who haven't read any of the JustUs League adventures, thanks for giving this one a shot.**

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Bones or any of its characters. Anyone who claims that I claimed this is a liar.**

**The Mess I Made**

"Holy Crap," muttered Angela angrily as she raced to her door to yell at whoever was pounding on it. "The building better be on fire or so help me God-"

"Your building is completely intact," replied Brennan cluelessly as soon as Ange opened the door. "I saw no flames, or smoke when I entered the building. And when did you become a religious person?"

"Brennan, you know I love you sweetie, but what the hell are you doing here at one in the morning?" Ange asked as she threw her hands in the air in exasperation while Brennan brushed past her and headed to her kitchen.

"Well, usually when I have something of a personal nature that I need to discuss, I go over to Booth's," Brennan replied cluelessly. "But since we're making an attempt to create boundaries in our personal lives, I thought that perhaps seeking your counsel would be a preferable alternative."

"Okay," murmured Ange, giving her head a little shake as she tried to sort out all of the questions and comments that popped up in her head from Brennan's statement. She spared a glance to see that her bedroom door was closed before she continued. "What happened Bren? I thought that you and Hacker were going to see a play and follow that up with some sex."

"That was the plan," mused Brennan, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from Ange's cabinet before taking two cups from Ange's dish dryer. She poured a generous amount in each and took a great big swig before she went on with the explanation. "I don't understand what happened. The evening went well, Andrew was charming and very amusing. We were enjoying each other's company before, during and after the play when I suggested that we go to my place for a nightcap. That's code for sex, right?"

"Yes Brennan, that is." nodded Angela patiently.

"Well, when we got to my apartment, we began kissing - he is an adequate kisser - and when he began to put his hand underneath my shirt, I pulled away. I attempted to dismiss it as anxiety from not having intercourse in some time, but when we resumed kissing and his hand travelled up my thigh, rather than it feeling pleasurable I felt uncomfortable. I thought perhaps if we abandoned the foreplay and went straight into sex, then I would feel less discomfort. But as he began to take off his clothes, something about it..."

"Felt wrong?" Ange asked, continuing Brennan's thought.

"Disconcerting," corrected Brennan. The use of the word wrong felt accurate, and yet was too vague for Brennan's liking. "Don't misunderstand me, Andrew is a very attractive man, and he is in very good physical form, however I was distracted by my thoughts and I wasn't enjoying the moment as much as I should have been."

"What were you thinking about?" Angela asked, as if she didn't already know that Bren wasn't thinking about some_thing_ as much as she was thinking about som_eone_.

"I couldn't help but compare his physical stature to that of Booth's," Brennan admitted hesitantly. "But that's to be expected since Booth has excellent bone structure as well as very well defined muscles. I should know, I've seen Booth naked twice-"

"Whoa," Ange exclaimed, holding her hands out as if to pause the conversation. "Hold on a hot minute, you saw Booth naked _twice_ and you didn't think to tell me or give me details? I thought that we were best friends Brennan."

"Well Ange, you were at the lab when I had to take off his clothes to get particulate evidence from them," hedged Brennan. "It was purely for the sake of the case."

"Yeah, and you derived absolutely no pleasure whatsoever from that," Ange smirked knowingly, and almost laughed out loud at the redness in her best friend's cheeks. "Besides, he wasn't naked - he was wearing boxers. He was just nearly naked which wasn't naked enough....

"You know, not that I was looking or anything." Ange quickly added, sparing another quick glance at her bedroom door. "And you said twice, right? What about the other time that you saw Booth naked? You weren't, by any chance, having sex with him were you?"

"No," scoffed Brennan. "It was after he returned from pretending he was dead. I was still quite upset that I wasn't informed and I went to his place to find out why. He was in the bathtub when I got there. We began to argue and he stood up. He was of course, completely naked."

"Oh really," said Angela interestedly. "So you burst into his bathroom to see him naked? I don't blame you one bit. It's actually good to hear that you finally managed to come to your senses. Too bad you gave into denial again when you didn't just jump on him and ride him like a bucking bronco."

"I didn't go in to his bathroom to see him naked Ange-" protested Brennan.

"Please," sighed Ange in frustration. "if there wasn't a part of you that didn't want a look at his anatomy, you would have knocked before you went in."

"I did knock!" Argued Brennan. "He was in the tub listening to music and apparently didn't hear me. We argued and he became so irate that he stood up from the tub."

"Did you ask permission to enter before you went in?" asked Ange with a great big smile on her face. "Did you leave the bathroom so that he would have a chance to get dressed? When he stood up revealing all his masculine glory, did you avert your eyes or did you take a good look at his hot little body?"

"There was nothing little about his body." muttered Brennan, blushing slightly.

"Did you just tell a dirty joke?" gasped Ange in shock. "Temperance Brennan, I can't believe that you made a lascivious comment about Booth. My oh my how you've changed."

"You think I've changed?" Brennan said suddenly, seeming surprised by Angela's comment.

"Course you have," replied Angela, puzzled by Brennan's reaction. "You've changed quite a bit in the last six years sweetie. When I first met you, you were this scary smart super scientist, but you were also socially awkward and a little inappropriate at times. But I could also tell that you had a good heart - and no I'm not speaking in a cardiological sense. You were really sweet, and nice - in your own way. The problem is, you were so closed off and didn't really try to connect with anyone. There was a wall you put up between you and others, and it was difficult getting to know you. And now...okay, you're still a little socially awkward at times, but you try. You're getting better at connecting with others, and your attempts to show empathy and give comfort are improving. You're even trying to tell jokes that people like me can understand, and you're getting better at showing emotions. And if you don't mind some anecdotal proof, if someone told you six years ago that you'd not only be speaking to your brother and father on a regular basis, but that you'd host a Christmas dinner and invite your father and your cousin, would you have believed them?"

"Well, I wouldn't have had the same information and insight as I have now," replied Brennan, but even to her ears her excuse sounded hollow. "The answer to that question would have been given based on limited information."

"Bren, you could lie to yourself all you like, but deep down you know the real reason," said Angela patiently. "Booth's influence has changed you. He is the one who encourages you to connect with people and your own emotions. You said it yourself, when you have something of a personal nature to discuss, you turn to Booth. He's your emotional guru Bren; he helps you to reach your emotional potential."

"Emotional Potential?" asked Brennan disbelievingly. "You say that as though he's helping me to achieve the goal of being in a loving long term relationship."

"If anyone could, it's Booth," Ange replied. "Especially if you were looking to be in a relationship with him. Booth accepts you for who you are, and at the same time he inspires you grow as a person. The man would do anything for you Bren, and you've flourished with him around. God bless that man, he's gotten you to rethink the idea of having kids, and the existence of love. Give him a little time and he'll have you believing in happily ever after."

"He deserves so much better," said Brennan, near to tears. "He deserves someone who will love him twenty, thirty, forty and even fifty years into the future."

"How do you know that you won't?" pressed Ange. "You're the one who said that life is ephemeral and unpredictable. Who knows, you could be right and it could be a complete disaster. Or you could be absolutely and blissfully wrong and you and Booth could love each other for the rest of your lives. You won't know until you take a chance and find out for yourself."

"It's too late," Brennan whispered, a tear tumbling down her cheek. "I said no."

"Said no?" repeated Angela, afraid of what that might mean. "What do you mean you said no? No to what?"

"Booth," Brennan managed to utter before giving in to her pain wracked sobs. "He said he believed in giving us a chance. He said when you ask a couple who've been together for twenty, or thirty, or forty years, he says it's always the guy who knew, and he's that guy, he knew. I told him that he needed to be protected from me; my heart isn't as open as his and that I don't take chances and I can't change."

"Oh God Bren." Ange said, pulling her best friend into her arms as her heart broke for her.

"I hurt him so much Ange," Brennan wept. "I never meant to hurt him, but I did. But at least now, he can get on with his life. He can find someone who will truly love him, someone who can be what he needs her to be. Someone who can be what I can't."

"Did you ever think that the reason he loves you is because you're already everything he wants and needs?" Ange pointed out. "Brennan, your attempt to protect him from pain hurt him even more. Here's a radical idea - maybe if you and Booth would stop fighting your feelings for each other and just give in to them, then just maybe you two will actually find some happiness."

"Just like Cam and Booth," Brennan reminded Ange. "Or you and Hodgins? Or-"

"Cam and Booth weren't in love," corrected Ange. "According to Cam it was more of a 'friends with benefits' arrangement than anything. And she knew that Booth was in love with you. It stopped her from falling in love with him, knowing that the minute Booth saw any sign from you that you loved him too, it was over for her and Booth. As for me and Jack...."

Ange paused, and took a breath before continuing.

"No matter what happened between us, no matter what we went through I will never regret a single second that I spent with him," confessed Ange. "Jack Hodgins was, is, and will forever more be the love of my life."

"Then why aren't you together?" asked Brennan before being interrupted by a noise from the bedroom. She grabbed a nearby lamp and headed to Ange's door when Ange stopped her by grabbing her makeshift weapon.

"You might as well come out," Ange called out to whoever was in her room. "She's going to find out anyway."

Slowly, the door knob began to turn, and from behind the door emerged a chagrinned Hodgins.

"Sorry," apologized Hodgins sheepishly. "I wasn't eavesdropping. I was just..."

"Listening in?" laughed Angela, grabbing Hodgins hand and pulling him out of her room. "It's alright Jack, Bren and I were talking about us anyway, so she might as well know."

"You two are back together?" Brennan said, her tone making it sound more like a statement than a question.

"Yes," declared Angela, her and Jack wrapping their arms around each other. "Jack and I are back together. This time we're going to make it last."

"Wasn't your break up, and the resulting awkwardness from that as well as the resentment that the two of you held towards each other enough of a deterrent for you to resume your romantic relationship?" asked Brennan, as usual not taking into account how her bluntness may be received.

"You know what Dr. B, all that we went through back then, makes the second time around that much sweeter," replied Jack. "We appreciate each other more, and we finally realize that what we have is so rare. When Ange and I first got together, we just kind of plowed through our problems without talking to each other about it. We had this fantasy of how we imagined our relationship to be, and we just thought that everything would work itself out magically and talking about any problems we had would break the spell. Funny thing is, after our break up, we talked a lot more. We intend to make that a habit. You and Booth talk about everything, but you just don't listen to each other. I wish you knew how many times the two of you hinted that you wanted the same thing and felt the same way, but it's like you're too afraid that you're just hearing what you want to hear that nothing happens. After all the two of you have been through, you guys should have realized that life's too short not to take a chance."

This was all too much to process for Brennan, and without Booth to help her wade through the inner turmoil she was facing, she felt lost. Abruptly, she excused herself, muttering that she was tired and needed to go home, even though she was aware that Angela and Hodgins thought that she was running away. Whenever she faced emotional conflict and it concerned Booth, she tended to escape into her work, preferably on a dig in a country far away so that she could lose herself in the identification of human remains rather than examining the fears that caused her to flee. That was what she needed now, she needed to go far away, far from anything that reminded her of Booth and the feelings she had for him.

She drove home on autopilot, the journey to her condo not even registering until she walked through her front door. She went straight to her laptop, opening her email and scanning the subject line for the kind of request that she usually declined because of her work with Booth. Now she sought it like a life preserver to a drowning victim. She found one, from an old colleague at American University. She didn't even read through the details of the dig, she only knew that the dig was in Chile and it seemed to be exactly what she needed. She immediately replied, saying that she was very interested in the dig and to send over the paperwork as soon as possible. Once her message was sent, she breathed a sigh of relief.

It was when she was about to go to sleep, when her head was comfortably nested on her pillow and she turned to her nightstand that she encountered her first pangs of doubt. There, right by her alarm clock was Booth's lucky poker chip. He once told her that even though he doesn't gamble anymore, he found that flipping it, or even just rolling it over his knuckles helped him concentrate when he had a problem to solve. She reached out towards it, and rolled it over her knuckles just like Booth had been teaching her the night he left it at her place. No matter how many times she rolled it over her knuckles, she kept being haunted by the same conclusion - she had made a huge mistake worse.


	2. In My PlaceTrip

**A/N: Let me say first of all, thank you to all of the people who reviewed and alerted this story. I'm quite pleasantly surprised by the responses I've received. Second, Musie was happy with the responses too, and she went a little overboard. This chap is a bit of a monster so you might want to get a snack, a drink, a pillow and a blanket. **

**If you're wondering about the titles, they're generally the titles of the two main songs that helped me to write the chapter. In My Place - Coldplay, and Trip - Hedley. And the previous chapter's title The Mess I Made is by Parachute. **

**Thanks also to 206 for prereading for me. Merci beaucoup buddy! Thanks to those who've followed me from my JustUs league stories. Don't worry, it's coming. **

**Once again, I don't own Bones or any of its characters. Not yet at least. I'm still crossing my fingers and checking my mailbox. If that status changes I'll be sure to let you know.**

**In My Place/Trip**

After that disastrous date with Andrew, he had called a number of times before she informed him that she would not be going on another date with him. When he asked if he had done something wrong, or if she felt as though he had pressured her, she replied that while she did think he was attractive and charming, but that she was no longer interested in having sex with him. That effectively ended her relationship with him, but she found that it didn't bother her at all. The extra time gave her the opportunity to reexamine certain things in her life, and she recognized the need to be more discerning about the men she spent her personal time with.

The week after she had rejected him, she found Andrew waiting for her in her office. She felt very disconcerted at his presence there, or as Angela would say, she was "creeped out". She no longer enjoyed his presence or looked forward to being in his company and to find him in a place that, perhaps even more than her home, represented sanctuary to her was unpleasant to say the least. When he attempted to hug her in greeting, she pushed him away and asked point blank what he was doing there. He quickly adopted a very professional demeanor and handed her a letter that formally suspended her and Booth's partnership until further notice. The letter was signed by both Hacker and Sweets.

"You terminated my partnership with Booth because I rejected you?" she spat, throwing the letter back at him. "You're pathetic. This is an egregious abuse of office and I will make sure that you answer for it."

"What happened between us has nothing to do with it," replied Hacker coldly, calmly picking up the letter and setting it on her desk. "The decision to temporarily suspend your partnership was a difficult one, but it was made in respect to a recent therapy session in which it was uncovered that there were unresolved personal issues between you and Booth. Issues that would interfere with the efficacy of your partnership and compromise the cases that you work together. Keep in mind that this separation is _temporary_ and if you would just read the letter thoroughly, you'd see that there are conditions which, once they're met there is a good chance for your partnership to be reinstated."

She sped read through the letter and noticed that there were a few stipulations. The main requirement being that if they completed six months of intensive therapy - both separately and as partners - to address the issues, then there would be a review of their progress. If Dr. Sweets believed that they have resolved these issues in a satisfactory manner, then the decision as to whether or not their partnership will be restored would be made.

"This is ..... this is wrong!" argued Brennan. "This is wrong and you know it! Together Booth and I have solved numerous cases - cases that would never have been solved without my team's scientific expertise and Booth's deductive abilities. How can you agree to this knowing that you are essentially hindering justice by severing our partnership?"

"My hands are tied Temperance," Hacker replied, not without some semblance of sympathy. It did hurt that she rejected him, but it was obvious that she was in pain herself from denying her feelings for Booth. "Dr. Sweets has already filed his report. If I rejected it in favor of keeping the two of you partners despite Dr. Sweets evaluation, that would end up causing more questions with the higher ups. There would be a formal inquiry into your partnership. Rather than just temporarily suspend your partnership, it could be terminated permanently."

"Are you telling me that this is Sweets doing?" asked Brennan, stunned at this revelation. Even though Hacker said nothing, she knew the answer, and it made her blood boil.

With a snarl, she spun around and headed for the door. Hacker grabbed her arm to try and stop her, but realized what a foolish move that was when she took his hand and twisted it behind him.

"Temperance....Dr. Brennan, what are you planning on doing?" asked Hacker, having some difficulty speaking while she pressed him against a wall. "Are you going to go to Sweets and threaten him? You know you're only going to make things worse."

"Booth and I are no longer partners. How can it possibly be worse?" She snapped, letting him go and striding towards the front door.

Brennan walked the few blocks to the building that housed Sweets office in record time, fuming all the way. Part of her wanted to head over to the Hoover building, find Booth, commiserate with him over this, and have him hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right. She did her best to suppress the urge, mainly because it was unreasonable to think that having Booth hold her was going to make it better, or that she should rely on him to resolve the situation. As she stepped into the elevator, she caught herself almost pressing the button for Booth's floor before remembering that she wasn't at the Hoover. Irritated at herself, she pounded the button that would take her to Sweets office.

"Oh what, you come here to yell at me too?" muttered Sweets as Brennan strode into his office.

"Your statement implies that you expect me to yell at you, and that you've already been yelled at." Brennan stated, his greeting taking some of the heat from her anger.

"You just missed Booth," Sweets smiled mirthlessly. "He wasn't very happy with my evaluation either."

"Not happy is a gross understatement," replied Brennan. "How could you do this to us Sweets? Why would you do this to us?"

"I did this for you!" he exclaimed, standing up to meet her glare. "You and Booth, you two are obviously deeply in love, but just as deeply in denial because of these fears that you refuse to address or even acknowledge. You constantly use your partnership as an excuse, as a barrier for the progression of your relationship. I thought that perhaps if that barrier was removed-"

"This is another one of your social experiments isn't it?" hissed Brennan disdainfully.

"No, this is not a social experiment," said Sweets, grinding his teeth slightly. "This is about a friend who is fed up with the two of you pretending that you're not in love. This is about the two of you waking up and realizing that one of these days, you will have used up all of your chances to be together, and you'll be miserable apart rather than happy together."

"It isn't your place to decide what happens in our relationship Sweets." pointed out Brennan.

"Someone's got to do something!" Sweets protested. "I know that Angela's tried to talk to you, so has Hodgins. Cam has mentioned talking to Booth as well. We all care about you and Booth too much to sit back and watch you two keep doing this to each other. This was why I filed that report. This is why I made the move to _temporarily_ suspend your partnership. In truth, this tension between you two has been building for years and I can't help but think how much more effectively the two of you would be able to work together if all of the feelings you and Booth had been suppressing were let out in the open. Of course, that was before I found out that you had rejected him."

Even Brennan couldn't miss the accusatory look in Sweets eyes. Even though he claimed that he considered both Booth and Brennan to be friends of his, she knew that he identified more with Booth and looked upon him as a paternal figure.

"He told me he took my advice," Sweets said quietly, his voice dripping with guilt. "He said he told you he wanted to give your relationship a shot and you said _no._ _You_ said _no._ How could you say no? After all that he's done for you? After all he's _willing_ to do for you? How could you have hurt him the way that you did?"

"I was being honest!" argued Brennan. "He believes in eternal love, and getting married, and fate - and other things that I don't believe in. It would be illogical for us to embark on a romantic relationship when we're so incompatible. It's regretful that he's in emotional pain at the moment, but isn't preferable to experience short term heartache rather than long term grief."

"What makes you think that engaging in a relationship with Booth would result in long term grief?" asked Sweets.

"We're not a monogamous species Sweets," Brennan informed him. "Not like wolves or penguins who mate for life-"

"Yes, but what sets us apart from other species is our higher thought processes," Sweets pointed out. "We don't have to be slaves to our bio mechanical programming - we can decide who we want to be and what we want to become. Monogamy isn't something you should consider a hinderance to your personal freedoms. Monogamy is a choice - it's deciding that the physical and emotional connection you have with one specific person who loves you and accepts you for who you are is more valuable than a number of casual encounters with others who don't know and don't care as much about you. And for your information, as unnatural as monogamy is to homo sapiens, my parents were together for over fifty years. My mother said that when my father walked into the room, his eyes caught hers immediately and she knew. She knew that they would be together for the rest of their lives. She knew."

Brennan stayed silent as she processed this new information. She always thought of monogamy as a way for someone to claim another person as a form ownership - demanding that their spouse or partner be unavailable to explore relationships with others. She never thought of it as a decision made by the individuals in the relationship. She supposed what Sweets said had some merit. Booth once said that he would never cheat on a woman he was in a relationship with. She thought that his statement was merely an example of his strong moral character. Perhaps it was because he saw the merits in maintaining a special connection with one person rather than pursuing physically stimulating but emotionally empty encounters with others.

She thanked Sweets for his insight as she left his office, her anger forgotten. Rather than return to the lab, she called Cam and told her that she would be working from home for the rest of the day. When she got to her building, she checked her mailbox and found the package that her colleague sent her about the dig in Chile. Usually, receiving an information package about the dig would fill her with excitement and anticipation, but as she stuffed the package in her bag and locked up her mailbox, she felt an odd sensation of dread. She shook her head, dismissing her negative emotional response to what was an amazing opportunity and headed for her apartment. She headed for her bedroom and opened the information package, only to find that there was a warning to be prepared to be willing to spend a year on the dig.

One full year, twelve whole months away from home.

She had gone on digs since she had started working with Booth, but they hadn't been separated for this long. Threads of doubt began to invade her consciousness, and she began to wonder if this was a good idea after all. She again attempted to dismiss her emotional responses and concentrate on the specifics of the dig, but the more she read, the less enthusiastic she felt. When she found that she could no longer concentrate on the information she was trying to read up on, she thought that perhaps a relaxing bath would help ease some of her anxiety over being away for an extended period of time.

It didn't work out the way that she had planned. She had been relaxing in her tub, the warm waters soothing her muscles when unbidden images of Booth in his bath came to mind. She gasped, recalling the force in which he angrily stood up from his tub, the water cascading from his muscular body, droplets glistening on his skin, his physique as impressive as she imagined it to be. He looked so powerful, so masculine, so utterly potently virile that she nearly abandoned her anger for another emotion. It took every once of willpower that she possessed not to reach out and touch him, to taste him, to....

A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts, and she cursed aloud in frustration. She stood up from the tub, grabbed a towel and was about to leave the bathroom when the knocking ceased. Sighing in irritation, she took a little time to towel dry her hair before returning to her bedroom to review the information package. If she wanted to go on the dig, she'd have to get all of the appropriate paperwork filled in and signed, she'd also have to make arrangements for the correct inoculations, prepare to have someone sublet her apartment, inform Cam about the dig, and of course tell Booth.

She was lost in her thoughts, and that was most likely the reason she was surprised to find someone in the bedroom with her.

"Booth!" she screamed in shock, grabbing at the towel covering her. "What are you doing in my apartment?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he repeated, immediately covering his eyes with his hand. "I thought that you were still at the lab. I just came to get my lucky poker chip. Parker has a major game today. It's his little league semi finals and he asked me if he could have it for the game. I tried to knock, but I didn't hear anything so I used my key."

"I was taking a bath," replied Brennan, smirking at Booth's reaction to her near nakedness. "Booth, stop acting like a juvenile. There's no reason to cover your eyes, there's nothing about the female form that you have to be ashamed of."

"Besides, I've already seen you naked, remember?" she reminded him as she reached up to remove his hand from his eyes.

"Yeah, I remember." Booth replied, his voice gruff, his eyes darkened with desire as they fell upon her barely covered body.

Brennan gasped at his reaction, and could also feel arousal building within her. After all, she did see Booth as a very attractive man, and she could tell from his powerful thigh and gluteus muscles that he is capable of superior thrusting ability, his physical fitness regime and his ranger training would lend to his stamina. Of course she hadn't forgotten his 'crappy sex' speech. Wearing nothing but a towel, she felt vulnerable as well, but because she was with Booth, she somehow felt safe. He was always able to make her feel cared for and protected in his presence. The feeling of security and vulnerability was a strange juxtaposition, and coupled with the physical stimulation she was experiencing at that moment, she found herself making a rather bold move.

She stepped closer to him, gave him an alluring smile and said, "I've seen you naked twice now, and you haven't seen me naked at all. That seems unfair to me. Perhaps its time to correct this inequity."

She took a step towards him, and chuckled as Booth gulped audibly. She found his nervousness endearing, as well as oddly stimulating. She had never seduced anyone before, she had always been direct concerning what she wanted from her sexual partners and she tended to find games tedious. With Booth however, she found herself enjoying the practice of seduction and his responses to her.

"Uh...Bones....what are you doing?" he squeaked, backing up.

"I think that my actions are obvious Booth," she replied, taking another step toward him when a thought suddenly occurred to her. "Unless, what you're trying to tell me is that you no longer find me attractive. That you have no interest in seeing me naked."

"Oh god no Bones," he reassured her, reaching out to caress her cheek. "I find you incredibly sexy, and the thought of seeing you naked is driving me absolutely nuts right now. Believe me it's taking every single solitary ounce of willpower I own not to grab that towel of yours-"

"Then why don't you?" she asked, moving towards him again, not realizing that he was already up against her bed. The action she took had him falling backwards onto her mattress, and onto the paperwork that she had spread out over the bed.

"I'm sorry Bones," he muttered, gathering up the papers. "I didn't mean to make a mess. This stuff is probably important and I just-"

"Leave it Booth," she ordered, trying to collect as much of it as she could. She was hit with the realization that Booth may not take the news of her possible departure well. "I'll take care of it."

"Chile?" asked Booth, his eyes falling on one of the pages in his hands as he sat up. "You're going to Chile? For a whole year?"

"A colleague of mine from American University invited me to be a part of her team and accompany her on her dig," Brennan explained lamely as she continued to gather the papers, stuffing them back in the folder. "To be honest, it's an amazing opportunity Booth-"

"Bones, there's something that you should know," began Booth, placing a hand on hers to still them. "I was going to tell you after Parker's game. I was going to come over with some Thai food and beer before I broke the news to you, but maybe I should just tell you before you commit yourself to something."

Booth took a deep breath, and peered into her with a tender gaze as he said "Bones, I've got some bad news. Our partnership has been temporarily suspended. I'm sorry Bones, I'm doing everything that I can to-"

"Oh don't worry Booth, I already know." she assured him, hoping to relieve some of his anxiety on the matter.

"I just found out today, how could you already know?" asked Booth.

"Andrew told me earlier today." she replied.

"So, your boyfriend tells you that you and I are no longer partners, and you're okay with it," Booth said aloud, sounding hurt. "Do you know that we're supposed to go see Sweets for double the amount of therapy time we're already doing before they even consider reinstating our partnership?"

"Andrew notified me of this." Brennan informed him, for some reason she found it difficult to meet his eyes.

"So, you know that for the next six months we're supposed to be undergoing intensive therapy in order to save our partnership, and you sign up to go to out of the country?" Booth sighed, shaking his head. "Nice to know that people who've been dead for centuries are more important than us staying partners."

"Booth, that's not true!" she protested. "Your partnership is one of the most important relationships I have in my life."

"Yeah, I can tell that from the way you're running off to Chile rather than stay and fight to keep us together," scoffed Booth. "I should have known. I should have known from the way you were trying to seduce me. I actually thought for a moment that you had changed your mind about us. But no, that was you thinking 'why not? We're not partners anymore. It's not like we're ever going to see each other again so why not get him in bed before I leave DC?'"

She wanted to argue with him about this, she wanted to tell him that was the last thing that was on her mind. That she wasn't absolutely certain she was going to go. The only problem was that the words to explain this wouldn't come to her. Instead she said, "It's only for a year Booth, and perhaps we could persuade Sweets into thinking that a year apart was all we really needed -"

"Is that what you need?" asked Booth, stunned. "You want to get away from me?"

"No, Booth - that's not - " Brennan grew frustrated at her inability to articulate properly her feelings for Booth and what was on her mind. She hated that she kept hurting him. "Booth, you know that I became a forensic anthropologist in order to uncover the identities of people who've died centuries ago. I didn't become a forensic anthropologist so that I could work with the FBI. But I'm glad that my work led to a partnership with you. However, this work, going on digs and uncovering the secrets of ancient peoples through their skeletal remains are the reason I entered this particular field of science. This is why I became a forensic anthropologist."

"I got it," nodded Booth, with a slight tremor to his voice as he headed for her front door. "This is important to you. Well, thank you for being my partner for as long as you did. Have fun in Chile."

"I'll come back Booth. I always come back," she replied as she followed him, her voice thick with emotion as she realized how true her words were. Normally, she refrained from using the word always - it was an indefinable and imprecise term, not to mention that it was more of a sentiment than an accurate statement. Somehow, in this context it felt accurate. She did tend to find ways and excuses to accept assignments out of the country in order to gain perspective through distance, but she always returned. She returned not because this was the city she resided in, where she owned property and where her employer was located, but because she considered this place home. This was the city where her friends and loved ones lived, where she had family, where she had built a life. She didn't realize this until Booth had made her recognize the social connections she had here. More than that, no matter how many times and for how long she left, she returned to him - to Booth.

"I always come back." she repeated.

"And I always get left behind," Booth replied opening the door, in a voice that was little more than a whisper. "I have to go, don't want to be late for Parker's game."

She said nothing more as she watched him leave, and for a moment she continued to stare at the door after he had locked it behind him, irrationally wishing that he would turn around and come back for her.


	3. Anywhere But HereAway From You

**A/N: Sorry, this took me longer than expected. Plot bunny wrangling should be considered a full time job I tell you. And as for Musie, I had to wrestle this chapter from her. And she fights dirty. Anyway, hope you like it.**

**Thanks to 206 for the advice and tansypool - there's a little something you should look out for. Part of it is here, part of it is going to be in the last chapter. For all those who've read and reviewed, not to mention alerted, you take my breath away.**

**Still don't own Bones or any of its characters. If I held my breath waiting for that to happen I'd be turning blue about now.**

**Anywhere But Here/Away from You**

Nearly a week had passed since the incident in her bedroom, and Brennan was at a loss as to what to do. The few times she and Booth had talked on the phone, the conversations were awkward and stilted, not to mention unusually brief. He seemed to be busy whenever she called, and when she invited him to have drinks after work with her at the Founding Fathers or a meal at the Diner, he would decline, citing that he had other plans. She was unaccustomed to this type of response from Booth. He was usually the one to invite her out, and when she asked him to meet her, he was usually eager to join her. However, since her failed attempt at seduction Booth had been rather distant. She tried to apologize for her actions, but as she was doing so he cut her off and said that he had to go.

She was in her office, on the couch whose cushions still held the scent of Booth's cologne and instead of attending to paperwork that needed completion, she was wondering why Booth's behavior was bothering her so much. Rationally, she was the one that rejected him when he asked her to give them a shot. She should be understanding of the fact that he may need some time and some distance to accept this. For her part, Brennan believed that she had been quite considerate of his needs. She had even been quite accepting in regard to his decision to date Dr. Bryar, even though, if she were completely honest, Dr. Bryar didn't have as many doctorates as she did, and she wasn't a best selling author, and her facial features were not as symmetrical. The one thing that she envied of Dr. Bryar was that she was more socially adept than Brennan. She made Booth laugh, and it was obvious that she was as attracted to Booth as he was attracted to her. Booth is a good man who deserves to have a woman who was able to reciprocate his feelings for her. She just wished that she could be happy for him.

Her thoughts wound back to the night when she and Booth went together to Sweets office to correct some critical errors that he had made in his book. They had reminisced about their very first case, and the attraction between them that nearly led to them having sex the night that Booth got her drunk so that he could fire her. Whether it was due to her inebriation or whether it was simply the fact that them engaging in sexual congress wouldn't lead to any infraction of protocol, she found herself wanting him more than she had wanted any other man. It wasn't until they had left the bar, and he had stopped her from going to the cab to confess his addiction to her, that she began to be afraid of him. Not that he would cause her physical harm, for some reason, that didn't even occur to her. No, she was afraid that he was right, that this was the start of something. One night with Seeley Booth wouldn't be an inconsequential night of sex. It would be more, it would be something that she wasn't ready for.

The next day, she had allowed him to think that she was angry because he had fired her. That was only part of the reason why. She was angry with him because she was willing to give him a night of sex, really passionate satisfying sex and he just had to say that they were starting something. Why couldn't he just have been satisfied with what she was willing to give? All of the other men that she engaged in casual sex were content with that. Unfortunately, Seeley Booth was not one of those men. She had picked a fight and lashed out in anger and frustration at him, claiming that she would never work with him again.

A year later, he proved her to be wrong because they did work together again. And to her surprise he turned out to be the best partner, the best friend, and one of the best men she had ever known. She found the work they did fulfilling, and over the past five years he had become a constant in her life. She had once said that having an Army trained sniper turned FBI agent around made her feel safe, it was Booth himself that gave her a sense of security. He made her feel cared for and protected, and he had even proven that he would put her life before his. He asked only that she "watch his back", just as he did with her, that they trusted each other, and that they be honest with each other. For all that he was willing to give, he asked nothing more from her - at least, not until that night at Sweets office.

She still wonders what would have happened if she had answered differently. If she was willing to try, but she knew that Booth was the kind of man who would invest all of his emotions in a relationship, she wasn't sure that she could do the same. She believed that she couldn't change, but Angela was able to convince her that there have been some adjustments to her personality upon working with Booth. He has managed to persuade her to alter her views on subjects such as love and children. Perhaps Angela was correct, if anyone could change her mind about long term monogamous relationships, it would be Booth....

Suddenly, her cell phone began to ring, pulling her out of her reverie. With a smile, she found the name on the caller ID to be the one of the man she had just been thinking of.

"Hello Booth." she greeted, noting the slight increase in her pulse rate upon hearing the sound of his voice.

"Hey Bones," he answered, the tension in his voice from previous conversations was no longer present. "You busy?"

"No," she replied truthfully, though she didn't want to tell him that she was sitting on the couch thinking about him. "I was just...doing paperwork."

"Hmm, sounds like fun," Booth joked, and Brennan grinned. He did have a habit of making her smile. "Do you have plans for tonight?"

"No, I don't," she said casually. "Did you want to have dinner together?"

"Well, since you asked," he teased. "I'm kidding. How about we meet at the Diner for dinner, say around eight o'clock? Does that give you enough time to finish up whatever you need to do at the lab?"

"Yes, I believe that is an ample amount of time," she replied, glancing at her watch. "Shall I meet you there?"

"That sounds like a good idea," agreed Booth. "I've got to go, got plenty of paperwork to do myself. See you at eight."

"See you then." Brennan said just before hanging up. It was puzzling how much she anticipated going to dinner with Booth. It was something that she did many times over the course of their partnership. And yet she couldn't deny that she was having a physical reaction to the thought of seeing him again. They had only been apart for a week, and she had gone on digs for longer. So why was she reacting in this manner to having diner at the Diner with Booth?

Looking at the stack of paperwork and files on the coffee table before her, she sighed, knowing that if she were to finish her paperwork before she was due to meet with Booth, she had better get started.

An hour and a half later, she had just finished signing her name on the last form in the pile she had just completed when Ange entered her office.

"Hey Bren, it's way past quitting time," Angela reminded her, grabbing the pen from her hand. "Come on, all work and no play makes Bren a dull girl. Why don't we go out for drinks? It's been a while since we had a girl's night out."

"Can we have drinks together some other time?" asked Bren. "I'm sorry, I have plans for tonight."

"Oooh, that's an 'I have plans with a man' smile," teased Angela, grinning from ear to ear. "Don't think you're getting out of here without telling me who, what and where."

"Ange, I'm going to be late," sighed Brennan, looking at her watch. She had plenty of time to get to the Diner before Booth got there, but she didn't want Angela to make too much of it. "I'm supposed to be at the Diner in a few minutes."

"Then talk fast." Angela advised her, crossing her arms across her chest in a universal sign of stubbornness.

"I'm going to meet Booth for dinner, that's all," replied Brennan, avoiding Angela's eyes. "I have to go now-"

"Wait a minute," exclaimed Angela. "If it's just dinner with Booth, why won't you look me in the eyes? And why are you blushing?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said defensively. "I've told you what I'm doing, where I'm going and with whom. Now I've really got to go-"

"Alright then, have fun." replied Angela, stepping aside so that a relieved Brennan could leave.

"Hey, I thought you two were having a girl's night out?" asked Hodgins, giving Ange a quick peck on the lips as he watched Brennan practically run for the door.

"Not tonight, she has plans with Booth." answered Angela slyly. She really hoped that she was interpreting Bren's behavior correctly.

"Really?" said Hodgins inquisitively, a smile creeping out from the corner of his lips. "Does it mean what I think it means?"

"Oh God I really hope so," sighed Angela. "She's either had an epiphany about that man or is on the verge of one. It's about time that she see what's right in front of her."

"I'm surprised that you didn't drag any more details out of her." noted Jack.

"I'll let her have tonight," smiled Angela mischievously. "Let her think that the talk we just had was the end of it. Tomorrow though, tomorrow I'm squeezing every last detail out of her."

"That's my girl," laughed Hodgins. "Since girl's night out is cancelled, why don't we have a date night at my place?"

"What did you have in mind?" Angela purred.

"What I have in mind would defy description," Hodgins grinned suggestively. "It would be more effective to physically demonstrate it to you."

With that, Hodgins and Angela practically ran from the lab, leaving thoughts of Brennan and Booth to another day.

Meanwhile, Brennan had made it to the Diner with ten minutes to spare. After she had gotten away from Angela, she had taken the long way to the Diner, walking past shops and boutiques along the way. She knew that she had plenty of time before Booth got there, but she couldn't make herself slow down. After passing the Diner a few times, she was frustrated at her own behavior. She went in, sat at their regular table and ordered a coffee for her and for Booth. She took a few sips of her coffee in an attempt to regulate her pulse rate and realized if she wanted to calm down, perhaps ingesting coffee wasn't the best idea. She huffed in exasperation when she felt a familiar touch on her shoulder.

"Something wrong with the coffee?" asked Booth with a smile before sitting across from her.

"No, it's fine," she replied, returning his smile with one of her own. "I just should have ordered a tea instead."

"If you want, I can get Maggie to bring a tea for you." he offered, waving their usual waitress over.

"Hey Booth, long time no see," greeted Maggie with a warm grin. "When I saw Dr. Brennan in here, I knew you wouldn't be far behind. Should I get you two your usual?"

"That sounds good," agreed Booth when Brennan nodded her approval. "And could you bring Bones a tea too? Too much coffee isn't good for a person. And for a healthier choice I'll have a strawberry milkshake."

"A milkshake is filled with sugar and-" began Brennan.

"I said _healthier_, Bones," replied Booth. "It's got milk and strawberries, and that's good for you, right? I mean, at least it's a step in the right direction. Besides, I didn't say that I was going to start becoming a health nut."

"You should be more cognizant of the products you consume Booth," lectured Brennan good naturedly. "You should be eating healthier in conjunction with your exercise regime. Physical fitness is only a part of what it means to live a healthy lifestyle."

"Gee thanks doc," he smirked. "I'll remember that next time you steal a fry from my plate."

"I'm helping you by assuring that you don't eat as much foods that are cooked in saturated fats." she replied smugly.

Maggie walked away to fill their orders as they continued to argue, much like they had in the past five years. All through dinner, they bickered, laughed, and conversed as if the past few weeks had never happened. Although Brennan found this reassuring - that they could return to this level of friendship - logically, she knew that the good natured camaraderie of the evening wouldn't last. There was a great deal that they needed to talk about, and the discussion wouldn't be as pleasant as the one that they were currently having.

They finished dinner, including dessert which meant a slice apple pie for Booth, and Brennan indulged in a serving of devil's chocolate cake. Once the bill had been settled, they stepped out of the Diner, and Booth walked Brennan to her car. The light hearted tone of the evening dissipated and once again an awkward silence descended over the two of them. Glances were stolen back and forth as they each struggled to speak. When they finally got to Brennan's car, she took a deep breath and made the first move.

"Booth, I apologize for attempting to seduce you," she blurted. "I was feeling aroused by my state of undress at that moment and you are a very attractive man. I should have taken into account the fact that you view sex as an act of intimacy between two people rather than simply satisfying biological urges. And I should have shown more self control. I'm sorry."

"S'okay," shrugged Booth. "I might have overreacted just a tad. I know that our partnership means a lot to you too. I guess that I was still reeling from being informed that our partnership was suspended and finding out that you were going to Chile. I shouldn't have said what I said, so I'm sorry too."

In that moment, looking into Booth's eyes Brennan made a startling decision. Although the opportunity that her colleague offered her was a rare chance to uncover the long lost secrets of an ancient society not afforded to many scholars, she had been on numerous digs in her career. She had already made a name for herself as the preeminent expert in her field. She didn't need to prove herself anymore, and she didn't want to run. She needed to repair her partnership, and her friendship with Booth.

"There's something I need to tell you." they exclaimed simultaneously. There was a brief moment of awkward laughter before Booth continued.

"Sorry Bones, normally I would let you go first, but I've got to tell you something that's pretty important." Booth said, appearing tentative.

"Are you alright?" asked Brennan, suddenly concerned. "You haven't had any hallucinations lately or headaches that last longer than a day or impair your vision have you?"

"No, I'm fine Bones. I'm in perfect health," he reassured her. "In fact, I just had a physical a few days ago. It's a requirement when you reenlist."

"Reenlist?" she repeated in shock. "You're rejoining the Army?"

"Sort of," he hedged. "My former CO and I are still in contact. We get together every now and then for a drink and talk about my time as a Ranger. Lately, he had been complaining that the training program for the Rangers needed to be reevaluated and upgraded - so to speak. A few days ago, he called me and said that he was able to secure provisional funding in order to make the improvements to the training program that he feels needs to be implemented. He asked me if I would join him at Ranger School and help train the new class. I'll be leaving for Fort Benning in a week."

"Are you...will you be required to go into the field?" she asked, her heart beating hard in her chest.

"No," he shook his head. "I'll be an RI - a Ranger Instructor. I'll just be involved in the training program."

"How long will you be gone?" she managed to say, despite the pain she was feeling.

"General Pool secured a special circumstances contract for me," explained Booth. "I'll only be gone for a year."

"So, you're leaving." she said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

"And what about you?" asked Booth, gritting his teeth. "You're the one who decided to go to Chile as soon as you heard that we weren't partners anymore."

"That's the reason you're doing this?" scoffed Brennan. "You're leaving because I'm leaving?"

"What do you expect me to do? Stick around here and twiddle my thumbs waiting for you to get back?" Booth retorted.

"Well, being an FBI Special Agent I assumed that there were regular murders that you could solve." Brennan shot back.

"Yeah, murders that I'd have to work on with a new partner," he hissed. Upon seeing Brennan's reaction to this news, he managed to calm down. "I was asking Hacker if there was any way that we could defer the therapy sessions until you get back. He said that he could arrange it, the problem is that they would have to assign me with a temporary partner or drop me back to 'Agent' and take away my 'Special' status."

Booth sighed as if there were a heavy weight burdening him, and Brennan took pity on him. She couldn't read people as well as he was able to, but she could read Booth and he was currently undergoing a great deal of difficulty. It weighed on her that she was, in part, responsible for it. She wished that she could find the words that could provide him with some comfort, but she found none.

"I need this Bones," he sighed, leaning against her car. "I finally understand your need to get away. I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut and I don't know how else to get out of it. See, I still have this pesky little flicker of hope that someday you'd.....nevermind. I need to move on. I need to get it through my head that you and I are only partners. More than that, I have to get my heart to understand it. But I work with you every day, and there are moments when we're together that I start to believe again. I can't keep doing that to myself. And I know that it's affecting our partnership. If I stick around here while you're off doing what you do best, I'll never get out of that rut."

"What about Catherine?" Brennan asked, hating that Booth was feeling this way and that there was little she could do. "Does she know about your decision?"

"I doubt she'd care," laughed Booth without mirth. "We're no longer seeing each other. She thinks that I'm not completely over you yet. She's right, and it's not fair for me to date anyone else until I am."

Brennan was disturbed at the strange yet pleasant sensation that ran through her at the thought that Booth was no longer seeing Dr. Bryar. She dismissed th feeling, and concentrated on what Booth was saying.

"I've told Parker about reenlisting too," Booth continued. "He wasn't happy about it, but Becca and I made arrangements so that there would be fewer visits, but he'd stay with me for longer periods of time, and he gets to visit me on base. He liked that idea. And of course, whenever I get a chance to go on leave, I'll visit him."

She leaned on the car beside him, unable to speak as she absorbed all that he had said. She didn't want him to go, after all, she had just made the decision not to join the dig in Chile. Brennan was suddenly struck with the idea that this must have been how Booth felt every time that she went on one of her digs. She wanted to tell him to stay, to not leave her, but how could she when he was pleading for her to understand his reasons for going. She did understand, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.

"What did you want to tell me?" Booth finally spoke after a while.

"What?" Brennan asked, startled out of her reverie.

"You said that you had news too," Booth reminded her. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Oh, um," Brennan sputtered as she struggled to find something to tell him. "I broke up with Andrew."

"Did he do something to you?" Booth asked, standing up straight, adopting the perfect alpha male protective posture. "If he did Bones -"

"No Booth, he didn't do or say anything offensive to me," Brennan set his mind at ease. "I was just no longer interested in seeing him again. Don't worry, I didn't do anything that would jeopardize your standing at the FBI."

"I wasn't worried about that at all." Brennan was about to snort in disbelief, until she looked in Booth's eyes and saw the sincerity within.

"I've got to go Bones," Booth said regretfully, moving away from her. "I've got Parker tomorrow and Becca's letting me pick him up early."

"I understand," Brennan nodded, proud of how she was managing to keep the emotion from her voice. "Say hi to Parker for me."

"I will." he waved to her before getting to his car, which was parked only a few cars away from hers.

She stood on the sidewalk and watched him drive away, blinking away tears and thinking that perhaps she should have told her news first.


	4. One Sweet Love  Under Control

**A/N : Eek! How long has it been since I've updated? Darn plot bunnies ran off with my calendar. Sorry, a few of them got away from me and I've spent the last few days trying to wrangle them. Hopefully this chapter is worth it.**

**Thanks to those who've reviewed, alerted and favorited any of my stories. Love you all.**

**Nope, still don't own Bones or any of its characters. You'll be the first to know when I do.**

**One Sweet Love/Under Control**

After Booth had told her that he was reenlisting, Brennan did all that she could over the next few days to keep busy. She finished her latest book well ahead of schedule and was identifying the remains in limbo at a frantic pace. Even Cam made a remark on her hyperactive efficiency. Brennan told Cam that she was always efficient, but what she didn't say was that she was attempting to keep herself busy so that she didn't have to think about Booth leaving. As it is, she filed her paperwork for Chile out of habit, and because she wasn't certain she wanted to remain working at the Jeffersonian while Booth was gone.

She was at her desk, working on the first chapter of her next book when she took a moment to pause. She realized that she started a new book without having any sort of story or plot line in mind. She had no idea what was going to happen between Andy and Kathy, or even what kind of case they would be assigned. No idea at all.

"Here." said Cam, tossing a folder unceremoniously onto Brennan's desk startling her out of her thoughts.

"What's this?" asked Brennan, startled by Cam's manner.

"Your paperwork has been approved. Have fun in Chile." muttered Cam as she was about to leave.

"You tell me to enjoy myself, yet your posture, the tension in your voice and your mannerisms tell me that you are not being sincere." noted Brennan.

"You're absolutely right, I'm not," confessed Cam as she turned around to glare at Brennan. "To be honest, I hope that you're miserable. I hope that it's hotter than hell out there and that you get eaten alive by bugs while you muck around in dirt and human remains."

"If you have a problem with me Cam, why don't you just tell me what it is?" Brennan glared back.

"You want to know what my problem with you is? Fine, I'll tell you," replied Cam stonily, taking a step towards her. "You're the reason why Booth is going back to the Rangers, aren't you?"

"I'm sure Booth has his reasons, not the least of which is a sense of duty towards his country." shrugged Brennan attempting to appear nonchalant despite the constriction she felt in her chest whenever the subject came to mind.

"Yeah he said that was the reason he's going," Cam hesitantly admitted. "But I'm sure that an even bigger part of his decision concerns his partner rejecting him and then abandoning him. How could you do this to him? You know what? I don't want to know, I'm sure that you'd just come up with some rational sounding excuse when really, you don't deserve him anyway."

"I never claimed that I did," Brennan pointed out. "He deserves better, he deserves more than I can offer and I hope he finds it."

"Bullshit." Cam declared, narrowing her eyes.

"What?" sputtered a confused Brennan. "I'm being sincere."

"No, you're not," exclaimed Cam. "You're being a coward. You're letting fear rule your life and ruin the life of a man whose only crime was to fall in love with you. Because of you Booth is getting sucked back into the hell he fought so hard to get away from."

"What are you talking about?" asked Brennan.

"Reenlisting with the army, that's what I'm talking about, " Cam retorted. She was tired of this innocent act Brennan kept getting away with. "He was a different man as a soldier. Even though he was the best sniper that they ever had, it ate at him. He's such a good hearted, emotional man that the only way that he could get through it was to think of his targets as nothing more than targets. He had to stop thinking of them as people, with families and friends who loved them. He had to put aside his humanity in order to protect his country. Even though he was told that those targets he eliminated posed a threat to the safety and security of so many others, each and every one of those deaths still haunt him today."

"I know about that," admitted Brennan. "I know about his cosmic balance sheet."

"Do you know about his nightmares?" asked Cam. "Do you know that he'd wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat? Do you know what he was forced to do in the name of his country? To this day there are things about that time that he won't talk to anyone about. When you ask him, there's this awful, haunted look that appears in his eyes, and he refuses to speak about it. Do you know that he got into gambling because he became addicted to winning after all of the loss he suffered. That it made him forget for just a little while that he felt like a loser for not being able to protect everyone all of the time? Do you have any idea about the friends that he lost? It took him a hell of long time to get over what he went through and now he's going back in."

"But Cam, he's training soldiers. He's not going out into the field." argued Brennan weakly.

"Doesn't matter. He has to train a bunch of new recruits to do it. To look at a person through a scope and pretend that it isn't a person. To set aside their humanity for the good of others. How is he supposed to teach them that when he can't do it? How is he supposed to send off these young soldiers into a hell he can't bear the thought of returning to?"

"I didn't consider that." Brennan replied sadly.

"You can do something about it." said Cam determinately. "Tell him to stay before it's too late. As of lunch today when he told me, he hasn't officially signed the papers, yet. You can change his mind."

"I don't think I can." replied Brennan, looking away.

"Yes you can Brennan," she pleaded. "You're the only person that could. You just have to be willing to do it. Don't let him go through all that again. Don't make him suffer just because you're afraid of what you feel for him. And I know that you care for him as more than a partner. Anyone who sees you two together could tell. You and Booth could finally be happy together. All you have to do is take that leap, take the risk and tell him to stay. Trust me, he's worth it."

"I know that he's worth the risk, I'm just not a person that takes risks." Brennan claimed.

"What the hell are you afraid of?" growled a frustrated Cam. When Brennan declined to answer, Cam continued.

"You're just running scared," Cam spat. "And you know what? You'll regret it someday soon. You'll wish that you had taken the risk when you're at your apartment late at night, all alone and thinking about the way your life would be if you weren't such a coward. All of those moments, all of that happiness, all of that love that you two could have shared, to let fear get in the way of that is stupid, and you Dr. Brennan are not a stupid woman so stop acting like one!"

She couldn't resist saying one last thing before she walked away.

"True happiness is a rare thing and if you don't take a chance, then maybe you don't deserve it."

In an attempt to act as though Cam's words had no effect on her, Brennan turned again to her computer screen hoping that inspiration would suddenly strike her and she would find a direction for this new book. She allowed two more minutes to pass before conceding that she was far too distracted to work. At least while she was at the lab she couldn't concentrate. She packed up her things and left to go home, only when she started to drive, she found that she had no urge to go to her apartment. In fact, it was quite the opposite. She felt an irrational need to feel comforted, and usually when that happened she turned to Booth. Yet, she knew that option was no longer available to her. It would be unfair of her to seek solace from him when he himself was experiencing emotional suffering because of her. Suddenly she felt overwhelmed by a loneliness that she hadn't felt since becoming partners with Booth.

She considered going to Angela's place, but there was a strong possibility that Ange was with Hodgins and Brennan didn't want to interrupt again. There was no one else she could think of turning to, nowhere else to go. She didn't want to cry, but the more she fought the tears, the harder they came. She was forced to pull over on a side street until she could regain control of her emotions.

"Dr. Cornwell!" Brennan exclaimed, getting out of the car and hurrying to hug her old mentor. "How are you?"

"I'm well Temperance," she replied warmly. "And please, call me Tansy. All of my friends do."

"Very well - Tansy - it's good to see you again," Brennan said, giving her a watery smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Apparently, watching my best and most famous student sobbing in her car," Tansy remarked. "Weeping is best done in the company of a friend. My house is right here, why don't you join me for some tea and tell me what is bothering you?"

Brennan was about to politely decline, but it was good to see Tansy again, and she really didn't want to go home just yet. Brennan followed her into the house that she had inadvertently parked right in front of.

They engaged in some light chatter, discussing the latest discoveries in the world of Anthropology, Tansy showed her some of the treasures she had managed to accumulate over prosperous and successful career. They settled in Tansy's traditional kitchen, and silently shared a few sips of tea before Tansy spoke again.

"So, how are things with your FBI partner?" asked Tansy.

"What do you mean?" asked Brennan evasively. She was beginning to think that maybe she should have just gone home.

"Temperance, you know that you can confide in me," said Tansy warmly, reaching out to grasp Brennan's hand in a gesture of comfort. "You were always more like a daughter than a student to me. I can see that you're in some sort of emotional pain. Let me help you."

"I don't know if anyone can," Brennan whispered, wiping away a lone tear that cascaded down her cheek. "You've had a remarkable career, filled with accolades and commendations. You're also accomplished and well respected. I know that regret is a useless emotion, and you can only move on from the decision that was made, but I can't help....do you have any regrets in your life Tansy?"

"Yes, of course I do," replied Tansy kindly. "Anyone claiming to lead a life without regrets is lying."

"Do you ever wish that you were different?" asked Brennan hesitantly. "That you could be different."

"Temperance, is that why you were crying? Because someone wants you to be different than you are?" pressed Tansy. "If that's the case, then-"

"No, Booth doesn't want me to be different," insisted Brennan. "He seems to accept me for who I am."

"Booth huh?" grinned Tansy. "Is that the name of your .... partner?

"Yes," smiled Brennan. "Booth is my partner, and my friend, and my....I think that he loves me. I know that he loves me."

"And how do you feel about him?" asked Tansy.

"I care very, very deeply about him," replied Brennan. "He's such a good man. He's kind, he's courageous, he's honorable, and he has strength of character. I wish I were different. I wish that I were more open hearted. I wish that I were able to love someone without reservation the way Booth would."

"Why can't you?" inquired Tansy.

"I'm just not that way," murmured Brennan. "Whenever I consider entering a relationship with a man, I tend to posit all of the possible negative outcomes and consequences. With Booth, there's just too much that could go wrong."

"If you care about him deeply, and he's as good a man as you claim him to be, then conversely there's much that could go right," Tansy reasoned. "Think of this just like you would any other type of scientific inquiry - no matter how strong your hypothesis is, you can't be certain of the outcome without performing the experiment. Think of love as the ultimate experiment."

"I can't experiment with Booth," she exclaimed. "He's my partner, and I can't - there are too many consequences to consider."

"If you allow yourself to be overwhelmed by all of the possible consequences, you'll be too paralyzed by thought to take the necessary action," Tansy pointed out.

"I was once in love before." confessed Tansy.

"Really?" asked Brennan. "I was under the impression that your life centered on academia and your career."

"When I began my career, I was struggling to make a name for myself in a male dominated world," replied Tansy. "Not just in the field of Anthropology, but in the world of academia as well. I was part of a female empowerment movement that assisted women who sought to succeed in careers that are traditionally held by men. We were seeking to change the world, to demonstrate that we were just as able, just as intelligent as men are. Though I surrounded myself with like minded, driven women, there was a man in my life. He was a friend that I had since childhood. He supported me, challenged me, was my confidante, my trusted advisor, my best friend. He was there whenever I needed him and for whatever reason that I may have had. Although he didn't say it, I knew that he loved me. He demonstrated his affection for me through his actions. And I loved him, but I didn't say it because I was afraid. I was afraid that loving someone made me weak, made me too vulnerable. Patrick seemed to sense that I wasn't ready, so he made no grand confessions, just continued to remain the friend that I needed.

"Occasionally, I would have a casual encounter with a like minded acquaintance, simply for the purposes of relieving biological urges," Tansy continued. "Patrick didn't say anything, but I could tell that he disapproved. If I were being truly honest, it probably hurt him to see me with other men, but I rationalized it by telling myself that we weren't in a romantic monogamous relationship and I wasn't forbidding him from having his own dalliances. And one night, it all changed."

Brennan was about to ask what happened, when she looked into Tansy's eyes. She was focused on the far end of the room, where there was a framed photograph of a number of people at a celebration of some sort. In the middle of the photograph was a man and a woman - a young Tansy with her arm around a tall handsome man. Tansy was looking at the camera smiling, while the man with her had eyes only for her.

"We were at a party, and I had been conversing with a man that I was interested in having sex with, when an acquaintance of mine - one with whom I've had sexual relations with previously, grabbed me. He was obviously inebriated, his motor functions were slow, his speech slurred, he bared all the markers for someone who had far too much to drink. He told me that he was horny, and wanted to take me home now. I told him that I wasn't interested, and I attempted to get away from him. He began to yell that I was nothing more than a slut, and that I was sleeping my way through the campus. I slapped him, and I saw him draw his arm back to hit me, when Patrick intervened. They fought, and the other man turned out to be the victor - Patrick never was much for violence. I drove him to the hospital to have a laceration over his right eye examined, and on the drive there I berated him for acting like an alpha male and not allowing me to fight my own battles. He told me that he had to, because when you love someone you can't stand by and allow them to be hurt.

"You would expect that upon such a confession, I would be overjoyed that Patrick finally professed his love for me. And you would be wrong. I was terrified and a bit angry at him for endeavoring to change our relationship when I could see that there was nothing wrong with it. Patrick met my emotional needs, and when I required my physical needs to be addressed I found someone else to do that for me. This system worked - at least for me. His confession changed everything, and he wouldn't stop. He told me that he loved me all along and he could no longer keep it secret. He wanted me to marry him, or if I was still not inclined to marry, at least to live with him as his love for as long as we lived. I told him no, brought him to the hospital and left him with enough money to take a cab home. A week later I was on my way to the first of my South American digs. I didn't talk to Patrick for ten years."

"Why?" asked Brennan, fearing the same fate with Booth.

"Because I was foolish," admitted Tansy. "I thought that with some distance, and over time the feelings we had for each other would fade. Once that happened, I believed that it was a reasonable assumption that we could go back to being just friends. After some time had passed, I saw the error of my ways and how poorly I treated him. I was ashamed, and that shame and the fear that he wouldn't forgive me prevented me from contacting him. I learned from mutual friends that he had married a year after I left. The news was painful to hear, but I believed that perhaps his new wife would be able to provide him with the love and the happiness that I couldn't. So I rededicated myself to my career, and gave all the attention that I would have given to someone I loved."

"You're saying it was worth it then?" Brennan asked.

"No, not all," Tansy said with a knowing grin. "Every day was the same - I'd wake up, have breakfast, go to campus to teach, have lunch, teach some more, mark papers, go home, have dinner, sleep and then start the day again. There were few deviations from my schedule. Occasionally I'd have lunch with some colleagues, or have dinner with a friend, but none of the company that I was provided with could compare to that of Patrick's. Time and distance didn't change my feelings for him, they only grew stronger and added to that was the ache of missing him. Nothing I found could take his place. And then I was invited to an Anthropology symposium in Los Angles. It was while I was sightseeing that I literally ran into Patrick again."

"We were heading into the same restaurant, neither of us paying attention to where we were going when we bumped into each other. For a few brief seconds, it was painfully awkward, and then we started to laugh at the situation we were in. From that moment on, it was like we had never been apart. We had lunch together, and we talked for so long that lunch flowed into dinner. We talked about each other's lives, I told him about my career, and he told me about his recent divorce and moving back to DC. It turns out that he bought a house there not too far from where I lived. We sat at that same table for hours, until the restaurant closed. When it was time to go back to our respective hotels, I found that I was reluctant to separate from him. For some reason that I couldn't fathom, I actually confessed this to him. He told me that he still loved me, and he asked me a second time if I were willing to marry him or live with him as his love for the rest of our lives. This time I said yes."

"Where is Patrick?" inquired Brennan. Though there were many pictures of him around the house, she could see no evidence of a man living there. "Did it not work out for the two of you?"

"Patrick and I had five glorious years together before he died," Tansy said in a voice just above a whisper. "He passed away from an aneurysm two years ago this day."

"I'm so sorry Tansy." Brennan said sincerely, taking one of Tansy's hands in hers in a gesture of comfort.

"I'm not," Tansy replied with a smile. "In the five years that we were together I loved more and lived more than I had in my entire life. When I look back on my life, at least I can remember a time when I was truly happy. Very few people can say that about their lives."

"I can see that his passing still causes you grief," Brennan began, forming her words in her mind before she spoke them. "Do you ever wish that you didn't meet with him again in Los Angeles? Is the happiness you felt worth the grief you're experiencing now?"

"Absolutely," Tansy said with confidence. "Life is a balance Temperance. You can't have true happiness without exposing yourself to grief. By protecting yourself from extreme emotions, you're limiting your life experiences. I do wish that Patrick was still here with me, but my memories of our time together sustain me. All things die Temperance, but not all things truly live."

"I don't know what that means." replied a puzzled Temperance.

"You will," sighed Tansy. "Someday my dear Temperance, you will whether you look on that phrase with fondness or regret depends on what you decide to do with your feelings for Booth."

They talked for a little while more before Brennan decided that it was time to home. Before she left, she promised Tansy that she would keep in touch this time. On the drive home, Tansy gave her so much to think about, and yet she was still uncertain as to what to do. Should she go to Chile? Should she prevent Booth from going to Fort Benning?

There was one more person she needed to talk to before she made her decision.


	5. The Only Exception

**A/N: Alright, we're in the home stretch people. I'm estimating that there's one more chapter of this left, but I've been wrong before. I'm trying to wrap up my stories because I have surgery coming up and I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back to writing. So, I hope you like this, be sure to let me know if you do.**

**Thanks to all of those who have reviewed, alerted and/or favorited any of my stories. You are the milk in my cereal.**

**Nope. I don't own Bones or any of its characters. Unless of course HH or Kathy Reichs or anyone at Fox wants to be really generous...**

**The Only Exception**

After Brennan left Tansy's house, she went home. It was far too late to go anywhere else. She went to bed, but found that sleep wouldn't come easy. Light began to peek through the curtains in her bedroom window before she finally conceded defeat. There would be no rest for her until she resolved this situation with Booth. There was one more person that she needed to talk to, one more puzzle piece that she had to fit. It seemed illogical to hinge such an important decision on someone she didn't entirely trust, and according to her personal history, also someone she couldn't rely on. The problem was, he was also the only person who could answer the remaining questions that she had.

She got dressed and decided to forgo her usual morning coffee and bagel. She wanted to get this over and done with and she didn't want to give herself an opportunity to postpone the inevitable. Brennan grabbed her keys, her coat, her cell phone, and headed out the door.

Max had the week off, and he told her that he was looking forward to some peace and quiet in the great outdoors. She didn't quite understand the sentiment since the woods were occupied by various creatures that made all sorts of noises day and night. But he seemed to look forward to it, and since Booth had advised her not to ruin it for him, she simply told her father to have a good trip. Luckily for her, Greenbelt Park wasn't far away, and thanks to her GPS and a quick call to her father requesting specific directions, it didn't take too long for her to find him.

"Hey honey," Max said excitedly as he greeted her with a hug. "I knew that you'd change your mind about going camping with me. We're going to have so much - "

"I have an opportunity to study ancient remains in Chile," Brennan blurted. "They could prove to be the remains of an ancient latin american tribe that until now was believed to be nothing more than myth. They were a nomadic group of cannibals that purportedly ate the brains and hearts of their victims, and they-

"Okay honey," Max reached out, quieting her with a hand on her shoulder when he realized that she wasn't really there for some quality father/daughter time. "Why don't you tell me the real reason that you came here?"

"I don't know what to do dad," said Brennan quietly. "This is an amazing discovery, and an incredible opportunity not to mention a fascinating study in a mysterious ancient culture, but I find that I have little desire to go. I admit, I was the one who inquired about the project and stated my interest, but that was before I found out that I was required to take a year sabbatical."

"Wow. Does Booth know about this?" asked Max, cutting through what Brennan was trying to hide.

"Yes," she nodded. "He was initially upset with me when he found out."

"And now?" pressed Max.

"He's decided to accept an offer proposed by the military," she replied, her voice thick with emotion. "They want him to help improve their training program. He's due to leave for Fort Benning in a few days."

"You know that if you tell him not to go, he'll change his mind." Max pointed out.

"I don't know that I should," Brennan half sighed, half sobbed. "He told me that he believed in giving us a shot. He said that he knew, the first time that we met that he knew..."

"Oh sweetheart," he sighed, gathering her in his arms. "You turned him down didn't you?"

"I thought that I was doing the right thing dad," she wept. "Since that night, all I seem to do is hurt him and make poor decisions. I should never have inquired about the Chile dig, and I should have just told him that I've changed my mind about going the night that Booth told me that he had decided to reenlist. I know that regret is a useless emotion, but I find that I can't help myself. What's wrong with me?"

"Eh, don't be so hard on yourself, unfortunately you come from a long line of runners honey," said Max, a chagrinned look upon his haggard face as he held his daughter close. "When things get tough, the tough get going. We run because its easier than dealing with the mess we make and the fallout from it. The problem is, when you run, you leave something valuable behind, something that is hard as hell to get back. The good news is that in every runners life, there comes a time when they find a reason to stay. For Russ, that reason was Amy and the girls. For me, it was you. For you, it's Booth."

"Dad, Booth and I are just friends." she replied, though the words no longer felt true.

"Don't do that to yourself honey," Max urged. "Don't pretend that he doesn't mean more to you than he really does. I've seen the way you are with him Tempe, and you may not be ready to admit it yet, but I can tell that you love him."

"I...I didn't believe that love could exist until Booth." she was able to admit.

"Well, that's progress," Max teased good naturedly. "And I know that he's gotten you to change your mind about a lot of other things as well. I can't believe that I'm saying this, especially about a fed - but Booth is good for you. He's not like all of the other idiots that you've dated, believe me - I've looked them up."

"Dad..." she said warningly.

"Don't worry, I didn't do anything to them," Max reassured her. "No matter how tempting it was to just sneak into their homes and just...nevermind. The point is sweetheart, don't punish Booth because of all of the awful men in your past - myself included. Booth's a good guy, a stand up kind of guy, the kind of guy you can always count on. And its obvious how much he loves you. He's there for you every single time that you need him honey. He looks out for you, he takes care of you, keeps you safe and you know that he'd do anything for you. And usually when I guy says he'd die for his love, it's a line. Booth actually proved it."

"Why do people act like that is such a noble gesture?" she cried angrily. "I was perfectly willing to take that bullet myself! Factoring the angle and the distance between me and Pam Nunan, it's likely that I would not have incurred as serious an injury as Booth did. It's an even greater possibility that she could have missed me altogether. Booth should have just gotten out of the way."

"There was no way that he would do that honey," replied an understanding Max. "He couldn't do that, he couldn't risk you getting hurt or worse. He couldn't stand the thought of anything happening to you."

"And I can?" she sobbed. "Does everyone think that I am so unfeeling that I wouldn't be affected by Booth getting injured or killed? Do you think that I wouldn't suffer from his loss?"

"I'm sure that you would honey," said Max, holding her tighter. "I'm sure that if anything happened to him, it would affect you deeply. Losing the one you love isn't something that you just get over. For some people, it's something that you never get over. Maybe if Booth knew that he wouldn't keep putting himself in danger."

"Well, I never asked him to be willing to die for me," she argued. "I don't want that responsibility.

"You don't ask someone to die for you," he informed her. "It's just something that you're willing to do for someone you love."

"I don't want him to die," she sniffed. "I don't want him to be hurt and he's far too inclined to sacrifice his life for mine."

"That's the reason why you turned him down, isn't it?" realized Max. "To protect him as well as yourself? You probably figured that by not taking a chance on your romantic potential, by not giving this thing between you two a shot, that you're keeping him safe from you. That being around you will only cause him pain - whether it be physical harm or emotional pain. You hate the idea that you could do that to him, so that's why you initially wanted to leave. You wanted to spare him from the harm that your presence in his life would bring. You think he's better off without you. That he'll find someone else to be his partner, someone who will care for him better than you can, but you know that won't happen while you're still around. That's the real reason you wanted to leave."

"How did you-" she sputtered incredulously.

"That's what your mother and I thought when we were making the decision to leave you with Russ," Max replied sadly. "I know what we did was unforgivable, unconscionable, even though it was done with the best of intentions. We thought you two were better off without us, that we didn't deserve to be parents to such amazing kids. The thought of either of you getting hurt or worse because of us, because of who we were and the decisions that we made was too much to bear. We left, believing that it was the only choice we had. Looking back now, that was just the easiest choice."

"Leaving us was easy?" asked Brennan, angrily pushing him away.

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all honey," said Max, begging for her understanding. "It was the most difficult decision that we had ever been forced to make, but it was the easiest choice. The harder choice, and looking back now maybe the right choice would have been to stay and fight. To gather as much information as we could about these bastards and go public with it. Or maybe I should have gone off by myself, track them down and take care of the problem without involving your mother. At least you would have been able to have one parent around."

"Dad," she sighed, calming down. "We've discussed this. There's no way that you could have known that Russ would leave me, and no way for you to know that I would have had difficulties while I was in the foster care system."

"Just like you didn't know that Pam was psychotic enough to try to kill you so that she could have Booth," Max reminded her. "Or that Kenton would put a bomb in your fridge or that Booth would be the one to be nearly blown up by it. You couldn't have known that Taffet would target Booth either."

"But what if something else happens to him Dad?" she couldn't help but ask. "What if someone else abducts him or has him at gunpoint, or he's in a building with an explosive device in it and I don't get to him in time? What happens then?"

"Honey, I'm sure that he has the same worries about you," Max pointed out. "That just means that you care about each other. Besides that, he's a federal agent; threats against your life and being in danger from hunting down bad guys is part of the territory. That isn't going to change if you aren't around. In fact, even though he tends to put your safety before his, at least you give him an added reason to fight for his life. And - I'm not crazy about this - but I know that when you're with him, you watch out for him the way he watches out for you. You keep him safe, you keep him fighting. What do you think will happen when you're not around? Even worse, how would you feel if you did decide to go to Chile and you hear months later that he's dead and buried?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore Dad." said Brennan abruptly, heading towards her car.

"Sweetheart, I wish that I could drop the subject," Max said sadly, grabbing her by the arm to stop her from leaving. "But I have a bad feeling that you're about to make a big mistake based on faulty logic, when really, you shouldn't be using logic at all. Let me put it this way, if you were asking Booth for advice as to what to do in this case, what would he say?"

She paused by the door, and when Max sensed that she was no longer about to leave, he let go of her. She smiled wistfully, her mind traveling back to another time when she needed Booth's advice and he was there for her. He was there for her consistently over the course of their partnership. He promised that he would be, and he turned out to be a man of his word.

"Booth would say that I should put my brain in neutral, and my heart in overdrive," she grinned, recalling her initial reaction to his advice. "I didn't understand what that meant until now."

"Are you going to follow that advice?" asked Max, hoping that he was able to get through to her.

She took a deep breath before setting her shoulders back, and she looked up at her father, a resolute determination in her eyes and a small smile crept over her lips.

"I think that I need to talk to Booth now."


	6. Unthinkable I'm Ready

**A/N: And here you are, the last chapter of this story. It's been a blast writing this, but now it's time to wrap things up. Hope you like it.**

**To all of those who have alerted, favorited and reviewed any of my stories, my plot bunnies salute you.**

******Disclaimer: I do not own Bones or any of its characters. Not a single one.**

**Unthinkable (I'm ready)**

Brennan promised her father that she would be careful driving back, and that she would call him and let him know what happened with Booth before she got in her car and made her way back to DC. She hadn't realized how much time it had taken to get to her father and how much time she had spent with him. It was a necessary discussion, and she felt relieved now that she had spoken with Max, but now it was close to lunch time and she felt an urgent need to speak to Booth.

It was revelatory speaking to her father. Up until now, she spoke only to people who assumed that beginning a romantic relationship with Booth was an obvious choice, it was refreshing to hear from someone who understood her fears and didn't make her feel as though she was abnormal for having had them. Someone who understood how difficult a choice for her this was and how hard it was for her to abandon the self preservation techniques that she had employed for so long. She was now able to accept that she didn't need to protect herself from Booth, or to protect him from her. She was now ready to acknowledge that she deserved to be loved by him, and he deserved to be loved by her.

Now all she needed to do was tell Booth. The problem was, he wasn't answering either his cellphone or his office phone. As she wondered where he could be and how she could get a hold of him, her cellphone began to ring.

"Someone owes me some details," Angela purred into her cell phone as a way of greeting Brennan as she answered Ange's call. "You never did tell me how dinner with Booth went and I'm imagining all sorts of things that could have happened, although knowing the both of you as well as I do, you two probably kept your clothes on. For the love of God please tell me that there was at least a kiss, some mild groping?"

"Angela, have you talked to Booth or seen him?" asked Brennan, completely dismissing what Ange had just said.

"Yeah, I have actually," shrugged Angela, taking no offense at Brennan's curtness. "He's here at the diner talking to one of his army buddies. I waved to him while I was waiting for my take out order, but he and GI Joe seem to be having an intense conversation."

"Did you see him signing anything?" asked Brennan anxiously.

"No..." Angela began before looking over her shoulder at Booth's table to confirm his current activities and correcting herself. "Wait, yeah it looks like he's about to sign something. Why?"

"Stop him!" ordered a panicked Brennan. She couldn't let Booth go to Fort Benning now that she realized how she felt about him. "Ange, do whatever you have to do, just don't let him sign those papers! I'll be there in ten minutes."

"What? Bren, why do you want me to-"

"Just don't let him sign them!" commanded Brennan before hanging up.

"Okay..." Angela muttered to herself as she turned toward the table Booth was sitting at. There was a bunch of papers in front of him as his pen hovered over the first page. It was obvious that he didn't really want to sign them, and even though she wasn't sure what he was supposed to be signing, if Brennan was freaked out about it there was no way Booth was putting his John Hancock on it.

She took a deep breath, plastered her best charm smile, and with her order in hand headed towards Booth's table.

"Hey Booth, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" Angela beamed at him.

"Angela, this is Major General Benjamin Poole," he smiled, temporarily putting down his pen and gesturing to the man sitting across from him. "General, this is a friend of mine Angela Montenagro; she's a well known local artist, forensic artist and computer expert extraordinaire."

"A pleasure to meet you 'mam," replied the General politely, gently taking the hand Angela proffered to him and giving it a quick shake. "Would you like a seat? You can have mine. I've got to get going anyway. I've got to hurry and file Sergeant Major Booth's papers today. You know, if he ever signs them."

Angela gave a light lilting fake laugh and suddenly realized why Brennan didn't want Booth to sign anything - especially enlistment papers. She smiled and thought to herself that Brennan was definitely going to owe her some details - and lunch.

"General, you should really have something to eat before you go," said Angela solicitously. "Can't protect the country on an empty stomach, can you? Besides, the food here is really good. Here, try some of my Italian Wedding Soup."

She opened the styrofoam container, pretending to fumble with it as it tumbled from her hands and of course all over the paperwork.

"Oh, General I'm so sorry," she gasped, grabbing napkins from the dispenser on the table and grinding it into the papers, pulling at them as she did so. "Oh boy, they ripped. I guess you should have used paper with a thicker stock, huh? I hope they weren't important."

"Angela, stop, you're making it worse." Booth shook his head, trying not to laugh. He didn't know what was funnier - Ange's blatant attempts to rip apart his contract or the look on the General's face as he watched Ange make a mess."

"Booth, I have to get your contract signed and filed today!" growled Poole.

"I really am sorry General," said Angela sounding contrite. "Look, why don't you call whomever you need to call to send replacement papers to the Jeffersonian - I work there. Just get them to fax over a new copy and Booth can sign the new ones, no harm no foul. The Jeff is only about a ten minute walk away."

"Alright Booth, let's go," ordered General Poole. "We'll head over to the Jeffersonian, get the new papers, sign 'em and send 'em. It'll save time if you come along."

"No, Booth can't come!" blurted Ange. When they both looked at her oddly over her outburst, she quickly recovered and poured on the charm. "I mean, I'd love for you to come, and what General Poole said about saving time makes sense, it's just that I got a call from Brennan. She's on her way here with some very important...paperwork to give you. You know how she's a stickler for those things. She just wants you to make sure that everything is settled before you leave. She'll be here in less than ten minutes."

"You go on up to the Jeffersonian General," suggested Booth. "I'll meet with Bones and I'll catch up with you."

"Alright," Poole consented hesitantly. "But hurry up soldier. I've gotta get those papers in before end of day."

"It's like, not even one yet." Ange pointed out.

"The General doesn't like to leave things last minute," snickered Booth. "Don't worry, I'll be fifteen minutes behind you."

"Well, we should get going then." grinned Angela, taking Poole by the arm and leading him out of the diner. She was hoping to give Brennan enough time to talk to Booth. What she was also hoping was that they wouldn't run into her.

"Ange, did he sign the papers?" Brennan demanded, striding up to her.

"Sweetie, this is General Poole," Angela introduced them, never losing her cool. "General, this is the world's preeminent forensic anthropologist and best selling author Dr. Temperance Brennan. She also happens to be Booth's partner."

"Real pleasure to meet you 'mam." said Poole, offering her his hand to shake.

"I'm sure that it would be," Brennan replied, taking Poole's hand and giving it a brief but firm shake. "Is Booth still here Ange?"

"Yes, he's inside waiting for you." said Angela, trying to motion as subtly as she could for Brennan to hurry up and go in.

"Where are you going?" asked Brennan curiously.

"We're just heading to my office," said Ange, tugging on Poole's arm. "Being the klutz that I am, I made an absolute mess out of some very important papers and I told General Poole that he could have replacements sent to the fax at the lab. We'd better get going."

"Alright," said Brennan, reaching for the door. "I'm just going to go talk to Booth and make sure that he doesn't sign his enlistment papers."

"What?" General Poole screeched as he went after Brennan.

Once inside, Brennan's eyes sought Booth's. When she found them, she let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. She smiled, and her relief at finding him seemed to be mirrored on his face. She headed towards him so eager to tell him all that she had realized and the decision she had made that she didn't notice General Poole behind her until he had taken hold of her arm.

"What the hell do you think you're doing lady?" Poole growled under his breath, attempting to pull her away from Booth. She was about to pull his hand off of her and wrench it backwards when she heard a familiar voice.

"I suggest you take your hands off of her," Booth snarled, the threat evident in his voice as he slowly rose up from his seat, glaring at the general with darkened eyes. "right now."

"Watch your tone soldier!" ordered Poole, though he did let go of Brennan.

"He's not a soldier yet." Brennan pointed out smugly.

"Alright!" bellowed Booth, stopping the argument from escalating before things got out of hand. The General was known for his temper and so was Brennan. Last thing he wanted was the two of them to get into a fist fight. "General Poole, give us a minute will you?"

"Booth, if you're even for a second thinking about-"

"Bones, on second thought, why don't we talk outside?" suggested Booth, placing a hand on the small of her back. To his surprise, Brennan actually leaned into his touch instead of slightly away from it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Angela said, stopping Poole from following. "She's got that determined look on her face. The kind of look that lets you know that the only way you're going to stop her is by physically restraining her. I'd advise against that too. Booth tends to be insanely overprotective of Brennan. He's usually an affable guy, but when he's angry..."

"Yeah, he's not the guy you'd want to be angry at you." Continued Poole with a sigh. "He's not going to sign the papers is he?"

"I hope you didn't put money on it." quipped Angela.

Outside, Booth stopped just outside of the Diner's entrance. He took his hand away, and at the loss of his touch Brennan stopped.

"Bones, what's going on?" asked Booth earnestly. He had a feeling that he knew what was going on with her, but he needed to hear it. He had taken a leap before only to find himself crashing back down to earth. He had to know that he was right, that she was ready this time. That he wouldn't be the only one taking a chance.

"I don't want you to sign the enlistment papers Booth," she replied awkwardly, realizing that this wasn't going to be as easy as she thought. "I don't want you to go to Fort Benning."

"Why?" he asked bluntly, seeming to stare into her with his warm brown eyes. "I mean, why can't I go to Fort Benning to serve my country if you're going to Chile to change history?"

"I'm not going to Chile." She blurted.

"Why not?" pressed Booth. He could sense how close she was to telling him what he wanted to hear. He was silently praying that it wasn't just false hope he was hanging his heart on.

"I've come to realize just how vital the work we do is," she reasoned, still afraid to tell him what her true epiphany is. "And how important our partnership is. There is no partnership without the both of us here-"

"Is that it?" pushed Booth, willing for her to say the words he longed to hear. "You don't want me to go because you changed your mind about going? Come on Bones, give me something more."

"What do you want me to say Booth?" Brennan asked, silently begging for his understanding. She wanted to tell him how she felt about him, but for some reason she was having trouble forming the words.

"I want you to tell me the real reason that you're not going to Chile," he replied, desperation seeping into his words. "I want you to tell me why I should stay. Why you really don't want me to go."

"If you really want to go Booth, don't let me stop you." she shot back in fear. She was afraid that the reasons she had wouldn't be good enough.

"I will go Bones," he warned her. "I will go to Fort Benning to serve my country because that's where I'm needed-"

"I NEED YOU!" she exclaimed, the words rushing past her lips before she could stop them. Part of her was mortified that she would yell out her feelings to him in that manner, another part of her was relieved that she finally said it. "Is that what you needed to hear? I need you, I need you Booth and I don't want you to go because I love you and I don't want to have to be without you for an entire year."

"You love me?" asked Booth, praying that he wasn't just hallucinating her confession.

"Yes." she said, almost defiantly. If he could walk away after she admitted her love for him she didn't know what else she could do to make him stay.

"Good," he smirked. "Then you won't mind if I do this."

He pulled her to him, and their lips collided in relief, in need, and in a love that went unclaimed for so long. This time she wouldn't fight her feelings for him, and rather than push him away, she pulled him closer. And Booth put all of the love that he was afraid for so long to express in that kiss. They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't notice the joy and the cheers from the patrons inside the Diner. They didn't see Bill the cook exchanging high fives with the bus boys, nor did they notice Maggie their usual waitress hugging Angela joyfully, or the look of defeat on General Poole's face. When they were finally able to notice their need for air, their lips finally separated, but they refused to. His arms stayed wrapped around her waist, her arms remained encircled around Booth's neck, their foreheads pressed together, and their eyes remained closed.

"So, I take it that I'm not going to be seeing you at Benning?" General Poole asked, trying to look stern, though his smirk gave away his amusement.

"Sorry sir, but I'm not going," Booth said somewhat apologetically, keeping an arm around Brennan. "At least not for a full year - I could go for a couple of weeks, to run through the course again and see what changes could be made to the scenario you give the trainees, and make some observations at the shooting school, make some suggestions. Then in a couple of months I could come back and see how the changes are being implemented."

"Thanks Booth, but I need someone on base," Poole replied. "You were my first choice of course, but I have a backup ready and waiting. I had a feeling, the way you talk about your girl over here, that if she ever told you not to go, nothing I could say would change your mind. You're that whipped."

"Booth and I haven't had sex yet, let alone explored the idea of participating in sadomasochism." Frowned Brennan.

Booth closed his eyes, shook his head and exhaled loudly before giving Brennan a kiss on the side of the head and saying "I love you."

"I love you too Booth." she replied with an adoring smile. It felt good for the both of them to be finally able to say it.

The General watched the exchange with amusement before he extended his hand to Booth.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Poole chuckled, giving Booth's hand a shake.

"Not at all sir," Booth laughed. "But I'm willing to figure it out as we go along."

"Take care of this guy," he advised Brennan as he shook her hand as well. "He's one of the good ones."

"I will," promised Brennan, wrapping her arms around Booth's waist and resting her head on his chest. "And I know."

"Best of luck to you both." said Poole, waving goodbye as he made his way back to his car.

"What do you want to do now Temperance?" Booth whispered into her ear.

"You're not going to call me Bones anymore now that we're romantically involved?" she pouted.

"Not if you still want me to." Booth replied with a grin.

"I must admit, I do like that you have a special nickname for me and that I feel cared for when you call me Bones." she said shyly.

"Alright then _Bones_," he reiterated, marveling at how amazing it felt to be this close to her and to have her in his arms. "What would you like to do now?"

"Do you think that we should inform our friends about our change in status?" asked Brennan.

"I think Angela has taken care of that already." Booth replied, nodding over to the window where Ange was recording their moment with her cell phone. Angela waved excitedly as Brennan laughed and turned her attention back to Booth.

"Your apartment is only a ten minute walk away..." Brennan pointed out, smiling suggestively at him.

"God I love your brain." Booth sighed happily.

"Just my brain?" Brennan teased.

"I love everything about you," Booth replied honestly. "Want me to prove it to you?"

"Yes," nodded Brennan, finding herself happier than she ever would have believed. "And I want to prove to you how much I love you."

With an arm around each other, they made their way over to Booth's apartment to explore this new aspect of their relationship and test the laws of physics.


End file.
